Lost Girl

"In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it."  - Mitch Albom

** All photos posted here are chosen for a reason **


Welcome to the Grand Illusion

Do you know who you are? I mean, really and truly know who you are. I don't know who I am, and I could use a little push myself to give me a hint. Is the real me or the real you locked up somewhere deep inside of us? Are you really who you think you are? There are times when we lock facets of ourselves away on purpose. Why do some people become lost?  Emma is lost. Confused Rumple is trying to let the "real him" out. And perhaps Peter Pan and his Lost Boys are in need of a mommy.

We've seen that Snow White is one tough cookie. We know she's a survivor. But I guess she has something in common with all of us humans... we can lose our confidence and start to doubt ourselves and our abilities. I know that feeling all too well. Snow feels "I'm just a girl who lost her parents..." knowing with those circumstances and her choices she became something other than "Snow White" and wants to find her way back.

Finding your way... if it was only as easy as following a map or if someone outright tells or shows you. Yet the answers and the power are already deep down inside of you. It's true, there are no shortcuts. All of what we do, our behavior and the choices we make and how we handle things and people, matters. In life we shouldn't cheat, break the rules or use magic to get where we want or need to go. We have to walk the path, go through our experiences and learn from all of it so we can grow.

So, stop denying who you are. Stop living in the past and carrying around all that crap that weighs you down. Break your old worn out patterns and the negative patterns of the generations that came before. There's always a way to start anew. The one thing you can do while on the journey is to learn to open your heart, trust yourself, believe in yourself, and feel the love. You'll get there!

Let's note that Emma is an orphan and that is a great source of her pain. But Emma is also a mother- a great source of her strength. Is smug Peter Pan aware of how awesome that strength can be?

I also wonder if like LOST we're seeing two halves of a whole, positive-negative, light and dark, brothers?

Get Away to Find Yourself

Now, I'm just going to jump right the hell on into my thoughts about LOST and the "Island" and this episode's Neverland. We may be on the island of Neverland but it is a "Mysterious Island" nonetheless, where things (and people) aren't exactly what they seem. It's sort of like a magic box where if you can imagine something- there it will be.

Emma and the search party are indeed there to save Henry- that is their quest. On this island of games, puzzles, riddles and tests, it appears that the island may still serve an additional purpose... to enable visitors to dig down deep within themselves and face the things that are causing their suffering. Is it just the "Island" that is playing the role of "teacher", or is bad boy trickster Pan one too?  Perhaps Pan is going to learn something about himself now that Henry, Emma and the rest are there for a visit. He may have a selfish agenda in mind, but could he find himself getting something else out of this? Maybe Pan will play an important role in Regina's transformation.

For me... this Neverland Island has some (many) similarities to our beloved LOST "Island"... that place you go to confront your deepest pain, patterns and fears- again, the things that cause your suffering.  You and the Island can manifest images, people and items to help guide you along the journey and to give you a little push when you need to move along or face the truth about something and/or themselves.  Example: In the beginning Christian appeared to guide Jack. Manifestations come from within the person- creations of one's own individual mind. i.e. whom they needed or wanted to see.  Example: John Locke brought his father to the Island. One has to face the things, issues and people they need to learn from and let go of.

We also saw people appear in a guiding role to help, just like Rumple manifested Belle to help him. The Islands (settings) act kind of like (metaphorically) the subconscious and the heart of the person on the adventurous journey. Plus, I'm kind of thrilled when we got a little Matrix nod.

Both Islands test and challenge their visitors- all in an effort to teach. We also see that the doll returns to Rumple, just as the food returned to Hurley, and the heroin returned to Charlie, etc. One needs to "wake up" and these journeys just may help them do that. The LOST Island was Life, Death and Rebirth- your experience returns you to the source. What exactly are we going to learn from Neverland? Is Pan's Neverland Island just one giant trap?

Carl Jung wrote about his Shadow Projection concept. It represents a part of one's subconscious where your own insecurities, selfish side and your failures dwell. This is the side we hide from other people as well as ourselves. Whether they realize it or not, the visitors in Neverland are on a bit of a journey of self-discovery while on this "Island Adventure." They may even find their purpose.
Perhaps Rumple's shadow is the darkest part of him and it plays an important role to teach him where he needs to grow the most. So yes, your own darkness can show you where you need to grow the most. And keep in mind that the people you don't like are usually the ones who teach you the most about yourself. In a way, that can be considered a gift. Where there is a shadow, there is light. But enough about psychology, let's see what Rumble does in this situation, shall we?

Tinker - Belle

Rumple magically produces a fireball in his hand and uses it to light a signal fire/camp fire. This in turn enables his shadow to be cast upon a huge rock. Rumple freezes his shadow and then outlines his feet with his "Dark One" dagger and then instructs his "already knowing what to do" shadow to hide the dagger where no one can find it; and so even he won't be able to find it. The shadow takes the dagger and flies away with it.

Rumple sits by the campfire with the doll, when a noise gets his attention. Hooded/Caped Belle is on the island! She's snatched his doll and questions his current "past" fashion. Rumple feels becoming the Dark One is his future and the only way he can save his grandson. Belle is tender with him, wondering if he ever fully became him- so there's still hope.
"You're not really here, are you?" suspicious Rumple asks.
Belle admits she's still in Storybrooke where he left her. She confirms that the protection spell he cast in Storybrooke worked. Still suspicious, aggressive Rumple wonders if these are still lies meant to lead him astray.  Belle confesses that she isn't a trick of Pan's, but Rumple's own manifestation.
Belle asks "The question is why?"

Belle leads Rumple to the edge of the cliff that overlooks the water.
"So do you know why you brought me to the island?" Belle asks in a kind of teaching manner, knowing only he knows the answer. But Rumple insists he has no idea. Belle knows he's holding back. "What is it you're not saying?"
Rumple admits "I'm a coward. I'm just like my father." Rumple now understands and knows he brought Belle there because she always saw the good in him- and still does. And as much as Rumple denies it, she thinks he sees it too. "So, why am I here? What are you wrestling with?"
Rumple says that Pan offered him a deal that allows him to keep Henry and in turn Rumple can live. "The boy needn't be my undoing." He just feels he may make the "selfish choice." Belle reminds him abandoning his son Baelfire and regretted it his whole life, he doesn't need to do the same to Henry. "Letting go of the past... its the first step."
Rumple takes the doll from Belle. It was the last thing his father gave him- "He left me." That is the core of Rumple's pain.

"Well, if you don't want to repeat the mistakes he made... you need to let go," Belle reinforces and then walks away. Rumple tosses the doll over the cliff.

Rumple walks on; his attention is peaked by noises in all around him in the jungle, when all of a sudden his little doll falls from above to rest on the ground before him. He sets the doll aflame and with his right foot steps on the fiery doll- putting out the flame. Confused, he walks on until he again comes across the doll intact. Baffled, he picks it up and puts it in his jacket breast pocket.

"There are dangers all about. Only I can guide us past them." Hook is the one who directs the "Henry Search Party" across the island, while Regina constantly complains. Emma agrees with Hook's help, as he's already lived on that island. Emma won't call Mary Margaret "mom", even though she's done so before; that was when they were about to die. David is stopped by Hook from cutting into a Dreamshade plant; the thorns inject poison. The plant is the source of the toxins he used on the Dark One; the concentrated dose of poison that almost killed Gold. In its natural form death would be slower and far more painful. Distrustful David decides to go against Hook's direction. Apparently David's not used to working with the bad guys. "I can assure you on this island I am not the bad guy," states Hook. Emma notes that according to every story she's ever heard as a child Pan's not supposed to be one either. Hook feels "They got it wrong. Pan is the most treacherous villain I've ever faced. Tell me something, Luv, in these stories what was I like, other than a villain, handsome, I gather?" Emma mocks, "If waxed mustache's and perms are your thing..."

David declares "Up here! We made it." The all stand on the edge of a cliff overlooking the dark jungle. Pan's lair should be somewhere in there. Hook looks through his telescope, and mentions that its grown somewhat since he last stepped foot in Neverland. The group feels that Hook's nature hike has led them astray, but David feels they're in a good position to comb the jungle. Hooks warns "The dark jungle's the last place you wanna set foot. We have to go around it." In order to do that, they're going to need their strength. He suggests they make camp, which opens the door for Regina to complain about her son still being out there suffering. Hook insists they must survive if they want to save Henry. Emma looks out into the dark jungle. She is worried about Henry. Mary Margaret assures her "After everything your father and I have been through there's one thing we've learned... It is never too late."

We get a reminder of Charming waking Snow up from the curse from the pilot episode.

Regina's guard runs in to present the magic mirror/Sidney to her; disturbing her from her outside apple picking time. "Trust me. I haven't disturbed you yet. Just wait until you see this..." Regina is appalled that Charming woke Snow with true love's kiss and watches him propose to her. Snow plans to take back the Kingdom. That doesn't sit well with Regina.

Snow holds a town meeting, reporting that the Evil Queen murdered her father and put her under a sleeping curse, but Snow isn't the only one the Queen has caused suffering on. "She's terrorized us for far too long! This Kingdom doesn't belong to her- it belongs to us!" But the townsfolk aren't ready to stand beside Snow and fight for what's rightfully theirs.

Regina sarcastically notes the "courageous army" Snow's building. The people flee from Regina, but Snow, Charming and the 7 Dwarfs are not afraid of her and Regina wonders why. "Because you and the shepherd broke my sleeping curse?"  After a magical tie-up and gagging of the shepherd, Regina reveals that she didn't go there to fight; she came to offer them a deal. "Consider it an engagement present." Regina wants Snow to give up her claim to the throne and declare her the rightful ruler of that land; in turn she'll let them escape back to the sheep farm he once called home. Regina's decided that Snow needs to be alive- needs to be awake, so Snow can spend all her days knowing Regina has taken everything that was supposed to be Snow's. Regina demands Snow get down on her knees and swear that her father's Kingdom belongs to her, and if she doesn't do it, someone will pay the price. Regina uses her Darth Vader choke hold on a young girl, and when Snow and her sword take a run at Regina demanding she "Stop!" Regina magically disappears into her purple smoke only to reappear a few feet away. "You have until sundown tomorrow to give up the throne; and for every day Snow defies her, Regina will kill one of her loyal subjects. "Stop denying who you are, Snow White. You may have been a Princess, but you will never be a Queen."

In an outdoors meeting with Charming and the Dwarfs, Snow feels they can't win and have to leave the Kingdom. Charming encourages her to stand strong and protect her people and the land from Regina. But Snow isn't confident, as she couldn't protect them today. The loyal Dwarfs will stand by Snow, even if it means their death; which it probably will. Charming warns Snow, "You can't let her get into your head." Snow feels she's no Queen and she isn't a leader. Snow's just a lost girl who doesn't even know who Snow White really is. But she does know she doesn't want to be alone. Charming says that's never going to happen. Knowing he's right, Snow decides to take Regina's offer  so they can all live together in exile.

The Seven Dwarfs, aka 7 big brothers, are the guardians of Snow White and will abide by whatever she wants and needs.
Grumpy tells Charming to "Let her go." But Charming insists Snow fight for the Kingdom. Grumpy feels "Well, if you have true love, what difference does it make whether you live in a castle or a farm?"
Charming asks, "You think I'm in this for her crown?"  He just wants what's best for Snow.
The Dwarfs have got their eyes on the new Charming. They won't help him change Snow's mind. So charming seeks the assistance of Rumpelstiltskin.

While the "save Henry" team sleeps, Emma tosses and is awakened by the distant cries of children. This is her pain coming to the surface. No one else wakes up. She's met by Peter Pan, who already knows Emma as having "fire" and that she is the "savior."  Emma holds her {Baelfire's} sword to Pan's neck demanding to know where Henry is. Pan tells her Henry is still alive; he's a very special boy. "Why do you want him?" asks Emma.
"I came here to see who I was up against. The Savior. Gotta say, I'm not disappointed." Pan will help Emma find Henry. He provides her with a map that will lead her straight to her son- a blank map. Emma wonders if it's a trap. Pan, admitting he's not the most well behaved boy on the island, assures her the path to finding Henry is on the parchment.
"It's not about finding Henry... it's about how you find him. Emma, you are the only one who can."
He reveals Emma will be able to read the map when she stops denying who she really is.  Emma doesn't know what that means. Pan disappears.

Hook knows all about Pan's games. If Pan says there's a map on the parchment- then there is.  Plus, Pan doesn't need to use the map to lead them all in to a trap because this whole island's his bloody trap.  Regina feels Pan is using the map as a distraction when they could be out looking for her son. She suggests magic, "If there's a lock on there, I'll find a way around it."
"Pan said it had to be me," Emma replies. Hook agrees that breaking Pan's rules would be unwise. But Regina is completely impatient.  Mary Margaret encourages puzzled Emma not to give up, "If he's playing a game- you can win."

Rumpelstiltskin spins at his wheel in the library he gifted to Belle, when he's paid a visit by Charming. Rumple just helped Charming wake his Princess.
"Long ago, you made Snow remember who she was when a spell blinded her," he needs Rumple to do that again.  But Rumple can't do anything to Snow to change her mind about fighting the Queen.
Charming just needs a way to make her believe in something I already know. "That she can face Regina and win."
Rumple educates Charming. "Magic can't make someone believe, Dearie. It works the other way around. Belief must come from within."  He also suggests they take the Queen's fair offer, as ruling a Kingdom ain't all it's cracked up to be. "Just ask your brother. Wait, he died. You see my point."
Charming won't take no for an answer, "Just name your price."

Dejected Snow isn't doing well with her archery practice, as she keeps on missing the target.  Charming gallops over to share what Rumple told him; he also notes that sometimes a price is worth paying. "Without his help you'd still be in that glass coffin."
Charming shares Rumple's legend about a magical weapon- one that can help her reclaim her Kingdom. The weapon is only a half a day's ride; they can be there by sundown. Doubtful Snow readies another arrow to launch and Charming physically guides her form and direction, and Snow hits a bull's-eye. This weapon will show Regina who Snow really is.

Emma concentrates on conjuring up the image on the blank parchment by revealing bits about who she is..."My name is Emma Swan." Hook knows the solution to Pan's riddle is more complicated than that. Her mother encourages her, "Don't hold anything back."
Emma continues. "I'm Henry's mother. I used to live in Boston and I was a Bail Bonds person. I'm now the sheriff of Storybrooke." To which Regina notes that election was a sham. Mary Margaret pushes Emma just a bit about leaving some things out.
Emma continues. "I'm the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, which apparently makes me the product of true love. {Note Hook.} I was born in the Enchanted Forest and I was sent through a portal in a tree so I could break a curse."
"And you were able to break the curse because... you're the..." David and mom encourage her to say the "S" word.
Emma finds the fortitude to say "I'm the savior." But the full map isn't revealed, even though admitting she's the savior is the one thing Emma's denied most of all.

Impatient Regina grabs the map and casts a locater spell over it; as it belonged to Pan and can lead them to him. Why doesn't she just enchant the map so it led them right to Henry and not Pan? No loopholes? Nonetheless, the map floats into the dark jungle and Emma is nudged by Regina to lead. Of course, Regina wants credit for moving things along.

They reach a point when Regina can feel Pan's smugness. Armed David, still feeling they have the element of surprise on their side, heads in. Hook warns "Careful. He may look like a boy... but he's a bloody demon."  Cheerleader Mary Margaret continues to support Emma.

They make their way through a deserted campsite. Emma sees a boy with her back to her at the top of a hill. Emma thinks it is Henry. But it's not! It is Pan, up to his tricks, dressed like Henry.

Pan tells Emma that she broke the rules and that's not fair. "Bad form." The boy expects more from Hook. Pan won't give Henry to Emma because cheaters never win. The Lost Boys attack the Henry Search Party.  Hooks warns them of the arrows laced with Dreamshade.  The battle begins and David is cut by a poisoned sword. {Whose sword did that?!} But David tells his wife "I'm good."
Emma captures one of the Lost Boys demanding to know where Henry is, but the look on the boy's face gives her pause.

 Pan whistles and his Lost Boys gather. Pan reiterates to Emma that the map will show her where Henry is, "Only when you stop denying who you really are." He'll send Henry her regards.

David won't have Snow look at his cut, as he's fluffed it off as his jacket getting the worst of it.  As Emma again concentrates on the map, her mother and father assure her to not have her confidence shook. "We all had moments when we've felt we couldn't prevail." Mary Margaret sits next to her obviously troubled daughter, but Emma doesn't have anything to talk about; feeling they had their chance and they lost. Emma and the map still haven't shown them the way.

Mom has a revelation. "Maybe who you think you are isn't really who you are." Sometimes we think we know ourselves but we need a push to show us the reality." She asks Emma why she stopped fighting the boy with the knife. Reluctantly Emma reveals, "Because when I looked at his face I saw me.... That look in his eyes, the despair... I had it... back when I was in the Foster System... just a lost little girl... who didn't matter... and didn't think she ever would. A little girl who cried herself to sleep at night 'cause... (starts crying) she wanted her parents so bad... and could never understand... why they gave her up."
"And then you found us, and it was too late," tearful Mary Margaret interjects.
Emma feels "It's just on this island... I, I don't feel like... a hero or a savior. I just feel like what I've always been... an orphan."
Just then her mother tells her to look. The map reveals directions because Emma accepted who she is. Mary Margaret understands Emma was an orphan and knows it is her job to change that.

Charming and Snow ride over a tiny bridge and take the rest of the way on foot.
Charming shares "According to Rumpelstiltskin the weapon that defeats Regina lies at the top of this hill." He also shares that this weapon was forged by a benevolent Mage named Merlin from a realm called Camelot. They arrive to find the Sword in the Stone- beautiful Excalibur!

Charming cannot remove the stuck sword from the stone and he wants Snow to give it a try. "The legend states only the Kingdom's true ruler possesses the strength to free the blade." Never having ruled anything yet, Snow is able to liberate the sword from the stone. This excited Charming. "You see, you are this Kingdom's true leader."

Armed with her new found strength and confidence, Snow confronts Regina as her townsfolk hide in fear of the Queen. Snow informs the Queen instead of living in a little corner of the world with Charming and the Dwarfs, she can't leave her people with her. In that case, Regina uses the Vader Choke Hold on Grumpy.  Snow flounders, but Charming reminds her she pulled the sword out of the stone.
"Let him go!" Rejuvenated Snow attacks Regina, but Regina magically changes her position, and when Snow turns she cuts Regina's right cheek.  Regina is stunned.

Grumpy is released from Regina's grip. Snow has stopped denying who she really is, "This is my Kingdom and I will fight for it!"  So Regina will see her on the battlefield where they'll be ready. Regina disappears and the gang rejoices. Yay!

Snow White ventures out to the forest with Excalibur to talk with Rumple about paying Charming's debt to him. Rumple says it is true her Prince came to ask for aid fighting the Queen, but Rumple had nothing to give. Snow wonders how Charming knew where to find Excalibur. Rumple shares that everyone knows it's in Camelot. Snow shows him that it's not.
"If that were Excalibur, I wouldn't be able to do this..."  With a magical wave the sparkling blade crumbles to the ground. The sword is a fake from the shepherd! How can this be when Snow struck Regina and drew blood?

Rumple tires of her ramblings and snatches the necklace from Snow's neck; it belonged to Snow's mother and now belongs to him. This is the cost of wasting his time- and then Rumple disappears.

The Dwarfs join Charming by the shoreline. Grumpy offers him a "slight apology" and a drink. They never should have doubted Charming's intentions. Charming toasts to "starting over."  Pissed off Snow interrupts their toast to confront Charming about the Excalibur incident. He admits he planted the sword in the stone- taking Snow on an adventure to find a magical sword because she needed to believe in something he already knew. When Snow stood up to Regina she did that on her own. "You had it inside you the entire time you just... needed some help to realize that."   Snow kisses him, loving him for his belief in her.

Emma tells the group the map is working and they know where he is. Hook looks at the map determining Pan's camp lies due north. They'll need a new plan to travel to the other side of the island.

Emma decides its time they stop playing Pan's game and he start playing theirs. Regina reluctantly agrees to work together.

Hook and Emma share some rum. He asks her how she unlocked the map. Emma did what Pan asked. Hook asks "Just who are you, Swan?"  Wouldn't he like to know- and he would! Emma walks away from him.

Emma picks red berries from the bush when she's told by Pan not to eat the blue ones. {Hmm... that's a little Matrix nod.} He congratulates the orphan and explains there's a reason he tested her. Emma nonchalantly continues to pick.
"You haven't forgiven your parents for abandoning you..." Pan finds this good because when she finds Henry she'll understand him. He claims Henry hasn't forgiven her either. "By the time you get to him, he'll never want to leave this island."
 
"We'll see."

"And as for you, Emma, when we're finished you won't just feel like an orphan... You'll be one."

Alone, we see David check on his cut and the spreading poison.
What is going to happen to the great thespian charmer, David, now that he's poisoned by the Dreamshade?


Things to Note...Questions to Ask...

๑  Are we really looking for "Henry" or are we looking for "light" and/or "Home"?
๑  Is Regina's apple the Apple of Discord or the Apple of Truth/Knowledge? 
๑  Alive. Awake. Wake up. Sleep. Dream
๑  Both Charming and Regina are shown to get a cut
๑  Although we see Snow and Charming on their wedding day a couple of times, they have already been wed by Lancelot in Lady of the Lake
๑ Hook used the Dreamshade poison on Gold. When did he acquire it? How long has he been holding on to that? When was the last time Hook was on the island? How often does he return to the island?
๑ True Love's Kiss can break any curse
๑ Grumpy and the Dwarfs wondered if Charming is really a "gold-digging social climbing shepherd", in it for her crown
๑ Map. Direction. Sign
๑ Game. Rules. Leader
๑ Doll
๑ Listen. Hear.
๑ Foot. Feet
๑ Mirror
๑ Eye
๑ Arrow
๑ Fire and Water
๑ Regina's red gown in the Enchanted Forest has feathers (bird-flying)
๑ Episode- The Shepherd
๑ Episode-  Fruit of the Poisonous Tree
๑ David gives a motivational speech to the Storybrooke towns people in We Are Both
๑ Leaders: Hook, David, Pan/map leads, Emma becomes the leader.
๑ Hook seems to share some fondness for Emma
๑ Matrix nod- Red and Blue (berries)


Vocabulary and Research...

๑  Henry: The name is derived itself from the Germanic name Haimric (German Heinrich), which is a compound of the word elements haim, meaning "home" and ric, meaning "power, ruler"
๑  Excalibur is the legendary sword of King Arthur, sometimes attributed with magical powers or associated with the rightful sovereignty of Great Britain.  Sometimes Excalibur and the Sword in the Stone (the proof of Arthur's lineage) are said to be the same weapon, but in most versions they are considered separate.
๑  Mage: one who practices magic
  - There's a discontinued role-playing video game called Mage: The Ascension; based in the World of Darkness. And then there was new version of the game called Mage: The Awakening
๑  Merlin: a wizard featured in Arthurian Legend
๑  Dreamshade: is a Swiss Melodic Death metal band from Lugano, formed in 2006.


 ✔ Golden LOST Thread Woven into the Tapestry of this Tale

✈ The Dark Territory; where the Black Rock sits.
✈ Island
✈ Sydney
✈ Alive. Awake. Wake up. Sleep. Dream
✈ Portal
✈ Lock-Locke
✈ Eye
✈ Game. Rules. Leader
✈ Guides. Coach. Teacher.
✈ Mirror
✈ Shepherd/Shephard- Jack and Christian
✈ Banish. Exile: Charles Widmore. Ben Linus.
✈ Trap
✈ Map. Direction. Sign
✈ Arrow
✈ Tracking
✈ Jack felt he wasn't a leader
✈ Walt is a very Special boy and ends up becoming The New Man in Charge.
   - We also know Ben felt John Locke was special
✈ Over a cliff:  Dave and John Locke
✈ Illana shows Richard and the people who they are up against in S6
✈  Fire + Water
✈ "Who are you?"
✈ Charles Widmore broke the rules in The Shape of Things to Come
✈ Jack asks Ana Lucia how long would it take to train an army in The Hunting Party
✈ White Rabbit
✈ Follow the Leader
✈ Sundown